Christmas Kindness (Part 2)

Do not let kindness and truth leave you; 

Bind them around your neck,

Write them on the tablet of your heart.

So you will find favor and good repute

In the sight of God and man.

--Proverbs 3:3

In my last post, I discussed a few earthly examples of kindness from the Old Testament. These showed us that biblical "kindness" happens when an authority figure steps down to show undeserved favor to someone in life-or-death danger, especially when it seems illogical or even imprudent to do so. But those were just human examples.

Now, we'll get to the good stuff: some examples from the New Testament that show us GOD'S kindness, and what it means for humanity, especially on this holiday where we celebrate its coming.

We know that the New Testament advises us to be kind to one another; that is, for brothers and sisters in the Church to treat one another with kindness, so that the world may know that we are His disciples. (Because, to be frank, if we can't treat each other kindly, then we can by no means treat the world kindly.) We are empowered by the Holy Spirit to do this. Everyone knows these verses:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. {Galatians 5:22-23}

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another, and forgiving each other whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. {Colossians 3:12-13}

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. {Ephesians 4:32}

It's clear from these verses that we wouldn't know how to be kind to one another without Christ's example. It's also clear that His example has something to do with forgiveness. But what does that have to do with a baby in a manger?

Well, we saw in our OT examples that it's not kindness if it costs you nothing to give. David had to give up riches and the good opinion of others to bless Mephibosheth; Jonathan risked his life to protect David. Rahab also put her life on the line to help the Israelite spies. None of them HAD to do what they did; in fact, it would have been easier for them if they hadn't. But they had the power to rescue someone in a less fortunate position, and out of compassion, they did it. Without personal sacrifice or compassion, the action ceases to be kindness and just becomes some sterile form of moral justice.

Jesus didn't HAVE to be born as a baby. He could have descended, full-grown, from the clouds in a glitter storm, threw some lightning bolts around, and shouted, "I'm takin' back the earth, little pipsqueaks! Bow down to me! If you don't become a robot to my will, I will SQUASH you!" He would have had the authority to do that--just as David had the authority to slaughter Mephibosheth if he had wanted to. He is, after all, the King of Kings. It would have been totally just and moral for Him to complete a heavenly coup d'etat with some angelic tanks full of Holy Spirit power.

But Jesus didn't do that. He became a baby.

A BABY.

I don't know if you've spent much time around babies, but they are very small. And very helpless.

Can you imagine packaging the force that created the whole universe into a newborn human? And then wrapping that human up in old cloth and laying Him in a cow feed trough? I mean, He was probably bitten by fleas within the first hours of His life.

Can you imagine sending your own child into a dark, primitive, pre-medieval world, full of nasty diseases and a very short life expectancy? And would you send Him there knowing that He would live as a foreigner; and then He would not just be murdered, but brutally and barbarously murdered as a spectacle, an object of ridicule, for a savage audience?

I mean, these people didn't even take baths once a year. They probably never washed their socks and underwear (if they even had underwear). They were callous towards death, because it was all around them. Who could love them? Or, even more, who could send their only son--beloved and beautiful--to love them? What an insult: to be rejected by proud people who regularly raped and murdered others and didn't even brush their teeth--and thought nothing of it. And then submit to being mocked and killed by them!

The Father sent a BABY to do that. HIS baby.

He didn't have to. But if He had had to, it wouldn't be kindness. If it had cost Him nothing, it wouldn't be kindness.

Are you starting to get it?

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus {Ephesians 2:4-7}.

Jesus is the Father's kindness.

The Old Testament characters we discussed rescued those who could not save themselves, often from brutal death. Jesus stepped down and went even further: He gave His own life in exchange for our adoption into the family of God. It would have been enough just to be saved from death; but He brought us into His own family.

And--in Jesus' own words--that's what Christmas is all about: "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him" (John 3:16-17).

And again, in Jesus' own words: "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful" {Luke 6:35-36}.

What would it have been like for Jesus to say these words, knowing that He Himself--His birth, His life, His death--was the very demonstration of a Father's mercy to an unrepentant, rebellious, stinky, flea-bitten lot of sinners? And knowing that He would accept some of these with joy into His own family, sharing His Father with them?

That is the greatest kindness of all: that the Father was willing to share His Son, and that Jesus was willing to share His Father with us.

Maybe that's why Jesus was born as a baby, into a family. Because He is our savior, but He is also our brother.

Maybe we take baths and have iPhones and wouldn't dream of putting a baby to sleep in flea-infested straw; but we are human just the same. Don't let the first-world conveniences anesthetize you to this painful truth: we, like our savage forbears, were born into a position of utter despair and hopelessness, sentenced to death from our conception, unable to save ourselves from our own habitual immorality, hardness of heart, and downright meanness. I don't care how "good" you are: you cannot be good enough to stand before the One who is the very definition of goodness. He Himself is the only one good enough to save us. We need to receive life from the one who created it. There is no other way.

But what a beautiful way it is! That a Father would give us His baby--innocent, glorious, a little package of hope in an utterly dark world--and would use our own brutality against Him to exonerate us of it. How ironic! He fulfilled His mission not with the indifference of a judge exchanging a bond for a prisoner's freedom, but with the compassion of a Father's heart.

The beauty of the Lord is that He did not just save us with justice--He saved us with kindness.

Listen to Me, O house of Jacob,

And all the remnant of the house of Israel,

You who have been borne by Me from birth

And have been carried from the womb;

Even to your old age I will be the same,

And even to your graying years I will bear you!

I have done it, and I will carry you;

And I will bear you and deliver you.

{Isaiah 46:3-4}

I'll end with one more example of kindness from the New Testament.....

In the last chapter of Acts, Luke relates the story of Paul and his companions being shipwrecked at Malta. They could have expected to be robbed or even killed by the people of the island, or at the least ignored; but instead, this is what happened:

The natives showed us extraordinary kindness; for because of the rain that had set in and because of the cold, they kindled a fire and received us all. {Acts 28:2}

The Lord knows that the earth is rainy and cold, and that we are shipwrecked and lonely. When He sent Jesus to earth, He kindled a fire and received us all.

Kindness is well-described by one of our favorite Christmas hymns:

Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love, and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother
And in His name, all oppression shall cease

"Fall on your knees" indeed!

Repeat the sounding joy! Let heaven and nature sing!

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Kindness (Part 1)

"In an outburst of anger, I hid My face from you for a moment, 

But with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you," 

Says the Lord your Redeemer.

--Isaiah 54:8

They say that Christmas is the season of "kindness." Hallmark movies, pop songs, and television commercials wrap "kindness" in a box like a pair of warm slippers, making it so fluffy and pleasing that we forget that the world's version of kindness is mercenary--meant only, in the end, to make us feel better about ourselves. Culture anesthetizes us into thinking that our lives have meaning just because we watched someone else on TV being kind and thought it was a great idea.

Don't settle for that. There is real kindness. And it is defined by the heart of the One who made us.

And His kindness is much bigger than the warm fuzzy feelings we get from television. In fact, it is not for the faint of heart.

I want to show you some stories from the Old Testament where the word "kindness" is used (at least in my NASB translation). I'll give the brief run-down; you can go read the stories for yourselves.

Genesis 40:14--"Only keep me in mind when it goes well with you, and please do me a kindness by mentioning me to Pharaoh and get me out of this house."
Joseph (the dreamer) was thrown unjustly into prison, and he interpreted dreams for his fellow inmates, one of whom was cupbearer to Pharaoh. He asked for kindness from the cupbearer: that he would wield his influence and somehow get Joseph out of prison, where he was condemned to rot forever unless someone decided to let him go free.

Joshua 2:12--"Now therefore, please swear to me by the Lord, since I have dealt kindly with you, that you also will deal kindly with my father's household, and give me a pledge of truth, and spare my brothers and my sisters, with all who belong to them, and deliver our lives from death."

Rahab, the prostitute, gave shelter to the Israelite spies who came into the promised land to check it out. In this verse, she asked for a "kind favor": "Could you please not kill me or my family when you take over, even though you're totally going to slaughter everyone else?" The Israelites did spare the lives of Rahab and her family, even though they ruthlessly killed everyone else in the city. That type of blood and gore story isn't really what we curl up with hot cocoa to watch on Christmas Eve television....but it is real.

1 Samuel 20:15--"You shall not cut off your lovingkindness from my house forever, not even when the Lord cuts off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth."
Jonathan made a pact with David that he would protect him, and would receive that same kindness in return. But this wasn't just a BFF kind of vow. It was serious. Jonathan's father, Saul, wanted David dead. He went to extremes to hunt him down in order to kill him. So when Jonathan said he would "show kindness" to David, he literally meant that he would preserve his life if he could--and that the two would do so for each other and their households forever. Moral of the story: kindness can save your life.

2 Samuel 9:1--Then David said, "Is there yet anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan's sake?"
David became king in the place of Saul. True to his word to his friend Jonathan, he sent and found Mephibosheth, Jonathan's only surviving son, who was crippled in his feet. In this day, a new king would exterminate all the relatives of the former king so that they would never challenge his right to the throne. So when the messengers came for Mephibosheth, he went and appeared before the king thinking that he was going to be executed. Instead, however, David showed him kindness by not only letting him live, but blessing him with an inheritance out of love for his father, Jonathan. It was a breach of royal protocol that probably shocked the people. And it is one of the reasons that David was called "a man after God's own heart"--because he saw an orphan, and showed him kindness where he expected death.

These are just four examples, and they all feature human-to-human kindness. We haven't even gotten to the God-kindness yet! But I think these human examples outline a couple principles about kindness for us, because they are similar in two ways:

1. They all deal with serious consequences. Old Testament kindness isn't giving someone a cookie or dropping 20 cents into a donation tub. Although those are good things to do, let's be honest: we're really doing them because we want to feel better about ourselves, and we're not sacrificing anything to do it. No, this version of kindness is rescuing the condemned from certain death or hopeless imprisonment when they have no other way out. That's life-or-death kindness.

2. They all show someone in authority helping someone of little or no importance. A prisoner, a prostitute, a crippled son in hiding, a wanted man with a price on his head. Kings and conquerors decided to help people who could not repay them, even though it was inconvenient and even contrary to social and cultural norms to do so. (I would like to point out that David was, in his lifetime, both the rescued and the rescuer, which is perhaps why his compassion on Jonathan's son was so great.)

We all have authority in some area. Maybe we are not kings, able to literally give the word and save someone from execution; maybe we are not the rich, who can give out much-needed supplies to whole villages single-handedly.

But we all have the authority of Christ. And that makes us kings. You may not be able to bust Joseph out of prison; but you DO have the authority to speak blessings into other people's lives, to smile at someone, to pray for someone--to preach the gospel, that some might be saved from death. If you believe in Jesus Christ, you have more authority than the world. (You can look that up in the Bible for yourself.)

The Lord has not only given us authority as daughters and sons, He has given each of us authority in particular areas--certain relationships, environments, and spheres.

Don't underestimate yourself.

You really can change someone's life. You really can turn their circumstances around.

The world is full of dying people. And we have been given authority to ease their condition, to listen to them, to hold them, and to tell them the message that will turn their hearts back to the Father who loves them. It IS life-or-death kindness. And something as small as an encouraging word can bring all the power of God that got Joseph out of prison and saved Rahab's life. Just stopping to acknowledge someone else--someone unnoticed and ignored--and give him or her your sacrifice of time. You don't have to; you choose to.  Like these kind men of the Bible, you will lose something in the process, or it isn't kindness.

But if you know the kindness that was shown to you, then you will think twice about passing an opportunity for kindness by.

Like David, we know how to rescue, because we have been rescued. (But more on that in Part 2!)

Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up by their arms, but they did not know that I healed them. I led them with cords of kindness, with the bands of love, and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws, and I bent down to them and fed them.--Hosea 11:3-4 (ESV)

What are you, O great mountain?

Then he said to me, "This is the word of the Lord to Zarubbabel saying, 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord of hosts. 'What are you, O great mountain? Before Zarubbabel you will become a plain; and he will bring forth the top stone with shouts of "Grace, grace to it!"'"--Zechariah 4:6-7

I highly endorse working hard, seeking and accepting opportunities, or going somewhere new even though it's intimidating. Proactivity has gotten me a lot of places in my life.

However, there's the flip side to that coin. I was thinking about all the times I've tried to make things happen on my own--accepting opportunities that are not quite right, or less than what I wanted. Sometimes this comes from plain, inexcusable impatience; but other times, there is a deeper reason. I think the deeper reason I have done this--have tried my best to settle for less--is because I did not believe I was worth God blessing me in that particular area. I did not think I deserved a God-given door, so I tried to find my way through a broken window.

People like to say, "When God closes a door, He always opens a window." I'm of the opinion that God never closes doors; He closes windows. He closes doggie doors and fire escapes, cracks in the wall and holes in the floor: all the ways of exit we think we must take because He won't offer us a door. We expect Him to disappoint us. 

We are all just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for God to let us down, for us to have to make it on our own. I mean, that's what people have always done to us. They have left us alone and lonely. We've had to struggle by ourselves because other people have abandoned us, let us down, or outright rejected us. We have ALL experienced this.

But that's not who the Father of Lights is. He is not a man, that He should lie (Numbers 23:19). The amazing, drop-the-mic revelation of Christianity is that it really will all be ok. He really IS in control. It's not a cliche. It's biblical truth.

You can trust Him.

The greatest miracles in my life are not the healings I've seen or the dramatic provisions I've experienced--all the physical impossibilities that became possible in Jesus--although there are enough of those to fill a book. Instead, the greatest miracles are the hundreds of ways He's revealed to me that I need to trust Him in each little tiny bit of my life. It seemed impossible for those internal insecurities to change; they seemed an immovable mountain. But when my own fears have appeared as a concrete wall before me, He's given me the grace to trust Him anyway. And, in those moments, Jesus takes great pleasure in walking through your walls and kicking out a door.

The peace of truly trusting Him with the secret things that are dearest to me, and believing that He will not let me down: THAT'S the peace that surpasses understanding.

Like the rest of us, I've got a long way to go in this, but I can say that, in moments when I have surrendered to this trust, I have felt the truest, purest sense of purpose a human can experience.

NO ONE and NOTHING can offer you the security that a relationship with Jesus Christ can. It's why He was born in a stable 2,016 years ago. It's why God became a baby, so that He could open a door for you that will never be closed. So that you will not have to be abandoned, rejected, alone, or afraid any longer.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!"--Matthew 7:7-11

There's no catch. He really can make it all better. And He really will. He loves you so much.

You don't have to scrape by. You are not a pauper. You are not an unwanted squatter in the house of God. You don't have to skulk around near discreet exits, waiting for the moment you have to run. You aren't homeless, moving through window after window and accepting any warm place to sleep every night.

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God's household (Ephesians 2:19).

The door is wide open. And in Him, you will find yourself saying to an impossibility, "What are you, O great mountain?"

A Sprained Attitude Dries Up the Bones

Today I have not been at work because I sprained my foot running. If you know me, you will know that the first thing I thought when I went down was, "Let me see how bad this is, because I want to finish this run." I don't like to slow down, and I definitely don't like to stop. Needless to say, the verse "be still and know that I am God" is one I'm still working on.

This kind of...let's say "rambunctious"...attitude has turned morose and sour as I've sat on the couch, eating hot Cheetos, listening to emo music and wondering if I will ever live again. While relaxing is not really my forte, internal drama is.

Then, tack this on to the situation: it's hard to explain how the education field does things, but long story short, there is some instability about my job right now. Important decisions are being made today, and I am not there. Sitting with my foot in a bucket of ice water while I think about it just makes it all the more melodramatic.

I will say that I have not been nearly as negative with this sprain as I have been with the last several injuries and illnesses (which only happen every few years or so, fortunately for the people around me). But I have had a bit of a bad attitude about it.

So as I was having a little fun with my bad attitude last night (you know you've done it, too), I decided to read the Psalms. If you want to find lyrics for your next angsty punk song, visit King David. I flipped open randomly, and this is what I read: "Give ear to my prayer, O God; And do not hide Yourself from my supplication. Give heed to me and answer me; I am restless in my complaint and am surely distracted, Because of the voice of the enemy" (Ps. 55:1-3).

I stopped right there because I had underlined that last little verse, and in the margin, I had written, "Don't listen!"

Thanks, Past Christi, for the reminder.

See, all the enemy really has is a voice. But he really likes to use it. As per usual, he takes something of God's and reverses it to be ugly, disgusting, and destructive. God speaks, and things are created. The devil speaks, and things are destroyed.

But only with our cooperation.

What's that saying--"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"? Everyone knows that's not true. But you see, the enemy's power hangs completely on his words, on his ability to convince us that we should be afraid of everything. Kind of like a bully....a big dramatic bully with all the powers of darkness swirling around him. If your life is hid in Christ, there is nothing he can do to destroy it, although occasionally he does make it pretty uncomfortable.

But YOU can actually destroy your life. The enemy just needs to convince you to do it. And he always starts by undermining your identity in Christ with just a few little negative thoughts. He finds the things you're afraid of and then whispers to you about them, disguising them with what looks like an absence of justice or righteousness but is really your own biased judgment over people and situations.

I think the genesis of most of my bad attitudes have been fear that comes from listening to the voice of the enemy.

Not to say there are not other causes of bad attitudes. I may sometimes have a temporary bad attitude because I'm hungry, or it's raining, or something is legitimately irritating. But those fade away. I'm talking about the chronic bad attitudes, the kind that poison your whole perspective. Everyone knows somebody with a chronic bad attitude (or maybe you don't, in which case it is probably you). I've been through periods of life when I had a chronic bad attitude. One example is the attitude I packed up and carried to work with me every day when I lived in Washington DC. I may have sometimes seemed like I had a good attitude on the outside, but inside, I was critical of everything and everyone. The real reason wasn't because other people were stupid. It was because on the inside, I was afraid of failure. This fear was mostly associated with work, but it infected every other part of my life.

I was afraid that I would turn out to be everything I didn't want to be: manipulative, obnoxious, controlling, defective in relationships, too cerebral to connect to others, oblivious, unable to handle new situations, lonely, rejected. I had always been a people pleaser and a high achiever. The enemy had been naming me those things since childhood, but the earthquake of a stressful work environment shook them out in full for the first time. I engaged the enemy's whispers on the subject of my identity, then tried to fight it by blaming everybody else and complaining about the situations where I felt powerless. I made excuses and judged others before they could judge me. As a result, I turned into everything I feared to be. In many ways, I failed, because that's what I expected.

That's what chronic bad attitudes do. They turn you into everything you're afraid to be.

If you listen to the enemy long enough, he doesn't even have to do his job anymore because you are the one repeating his lies, then criticizing everyone else in order to make yourself feel better. It's a pretty efficient system. Before you know it, you are "restless in your complaint" and "surely distracted," and God gets the brunt of your complaining.

Ugly but true.

Some people go through really tough things in their lives, and it's hard not to get a bad attitude in those situations. It can appear that there is a lot to be afraid of. Once you've been hurt, you're afraid to be hurt again.

But all the research by secular science shows that a good attitude means the difference between life and death. People with good attitudes are healthier and live longer. That's what the Bible has been telling us all along:

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)

Today, in reality, there's really no reason for me to have a bad attitude. My sprained foot will heal. I will still have a job contract, and the Lord has always turned everything negative in my life into something good. (Wait, isn't there a Bible verse about that?)

The cheesy motivational poster in your 5th grade classroom was right. Attitude IS everything. But it's not enough to try to change your attitude without addressing the root cause. As long as he has the upper hand of fear, the thoughts will keep coming. Don't fall for the enemy's bluff. You have no need to fear. All the enemy has is empty words. (And maybe a few emo songs. You can fight it with "The Rainbow Connection." Works for me.)

...we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love. (Ephesians 4:14-15)

The God Who Invented Scabs

For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, 
And as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up,
So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise
To spring up before all the nations. {Isaiah 61:11}

Why don't seeds immediately sprout into trees when they hit the ground? Why doesn't the rain immediately evaporate and fall down again? Why don't flowers unfold as soon as they bud? Why don't eggs hatch as soon as they are laid? Why do we have to wait nine months from conception until a baby is born?

The thing about God is, He could make things happen immediately. But He doesn't. That's because one of His beautiful attributes is patience. He loves gardening. He has all the time in the world (literally...He invented it).

God loves process. It's why He invented scabs.

If that grosses you out, you should probably stop reading here. You're going to hate the metaphor that's coming. But I know that everyone who is reading this has had a scab at one point or another. Don't act like you can't relate.

Scabs are ugly and itchy. They are the gross step between gaping wound and new, soft skin. A lot of times when we have one, we usually just want the process of healing to be over. We think, "Maybe if I pick at this just a little, the new skin will be ready underneath, and I can be done with it."

If you've ever done this, you know that usually the new skin is NOT ready. Often, we just end up prolonging the itchiness and ugliness by poking and prodding enough to pick the scab off. Then we have to start the process all over.

For some reason, it is difficult for us to leave well enough alone. Our wounds are just too fascinating to ignore.

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. {Hebrews 12:11-13}

When we discover a spiritual wound, we usually don't heal right on the spot. Sometimes we enter a "season of growth" (to use the Christianese term) or a really challenging, stretching, uncomfortable period of life (to use layman's terms)....and we don't get to just pass through in a few days. It often takes a lot longer than we want. There's the process of scabbing--of something new and beautiful growing underneath.

If you submit to the process of growth, things will unfold just like they're promised above: you will be healed. Your heart will "yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness." But if you try to continue to run on a lame leg, or poke at it and bother it as it's trying to heal, chances are, you're going to end up putting something out of joint. If you try to control the process, you will make it last much longer.

This metaphor is getting out of control, so let me explain a little better.

The spiritual equivalent of picking a scab is to whine and complain about the process. Throwing a pity party is painful, but it's the kind of pain we like. I've thrown a few temper tantrums God's way, and I know you have too. I like to complain every step of the way, to everyone who will listen. I have a drama queen side, and it usually comes out when I feel uncomfortable or impatient. It delights to play the victim. There's some type of sweet sense of control that we feel when we complain about what God is doing.

But let me tell you, my friend: picking at a scab one too many times doesn't just prolong the healing process. It creates scars.

God has given me several promises regarding my life. I've been struggling to understand why He doesn't just do what He's told me He's going to do. I'm too American to wait. I like to receive a word and act on it. But if it's God's dream...it's God's process. The verse says that HE will cause righteousness and praise to spring up--not me.

I like goals. I like checklists. I especially like checklists of goals with things marked off. Checking things on a list is deliciously satisfying to me. It makes me sparkle inside. I'm smiling just thinking about it. I like finish lines. I like projects that I can finish quickly. It's why I don't garden. I don't like process, because the most essential ingredient of process is time. And, like it or not, I can't control time.

So I can't leave my scabs alone.

But now I think I've finally learned that, by putting me through process, God is building my strength and training me. He is forming His image in me so firmly that it will be unshakable when I reach the crazy destiny He has in store.

I'm learning that the process is actually shorter when you stop wasting time in immaturity, picking at wounds and being melodramatic, and just sit and wait for Him to heal them. The fruit comes more naturally and more quickly when you just allow Him to grow your character, rather than just "working on it" yourself. We are partners with Him in our growth, but we are not the ones in charge of the timeline.

Walking with Jesus is a process. You will ALWAYS be growing. And here's the worst (or best) thing about it: you'll never be finished. You will ALWAYS be in process.

Because God invented photosynthesis and seasons and the incredible detail in the formation of snowflakes. How much more does He care about you?

But now, O Lord, You are our Father,
We are the clay, and You our potter; 
And all of us are the work of Your hand. {Isaiah 64:8}

He has made everything beautiful in its time. {Ecclesiastes 3:11}

That means you too.

Don't Stop Belize-ing

I don't normally write play-by-play, "what had happened was..." posts, but I feel like I owe you guys an account of my mission trip to Belize.

We left on Sunday, July 24, and returned on Monday, August 1. We landed in Belize City, then traveled south about four hours to Mango Creek/Independence (a smaller, more rural area) where we stayed in a hotel. Meals were cooked by a lady from the host church and delivered three times a day. There were less than 20 people from my church who made the flight over, but later we were joined by some others from the Dallas area. We joined forces with Liz and Emilio, a couple who lives in Belize. (Emilio is from the area where we were working, and Liz is American.) They started a church, and every year, they put on a conference for people ages 13-30. The reason they do this is because there are tons of vacation Bible schools for kids, but no outreaches that cater specifically to youth.

The main work aspect of our trip was to help put on the conference, which took place a few buildings over from our hotel. Our team did various jobs, including setting up lights, tech stuff, dancing, singing, putting on a talent show, skits, playing sports with the youth during the day, praying for people during altar call, cheering people into the conference, leading worship, cleaning, setting up banners and decorations, going into the village to invite and pray for people, and (as is usual on a mission trip) being followed around by gaggles of random village children every day. We were the hands and feet for a lot of the logistics of the conference, which was planned and directed by the Mango Creek folks.

I got to experience some new things, like cliff diving, riding on the back of a bicycle, and swimming in the Caribbean. Our electricity and air conditioning went out a few times. We ate delicious tacos and found a fresh smoothie stand. We had a lot of fun in addition to the work. A lot of funny things happened as well. (What happens in Belize stays in Belize.... Unless there's video footage of it. Then it's all over the internet, buster.) The days are a blur of memories of all types.

I think the most impactful thing for me was simply walking through the village to talk to people. Aside from the coconut trees, Mango Creek looks a lot like parts of Mississippi. People walk on dirt roads and hang their laundry outside. There are chickens, dogs, and small barefoot children running around. In fact, as soon as our plane landed and we got into the van to drive the four hours to Mango Creek, I found myself wondering if I really were that far from where I grew up.


Most people speak English in Belize because it was a British colony. However, a few speak Spanish, and almost everyone speaks Belizean Creole. Accents are more Caribbean than Central American due to the location and history of the country. We had some trouble communicating because our Texas accents got in the way, but for the most part, conversation was easy.

We prayed and encouraged many people, but a few stand out to me. At one house, four children greeted us from the outdoor staircase. (Most houses are raised on stilts to protect from flooding.) The children caught my eye because they smiled so joyfully. We climbed the stairs and greeted the mother, who was inside watching a soap opera. Belizean culture tends to be more reserved, so people hesitate to open up about their problems, but this woman asked for prayer for ulcers. We were able to pray for her, and then we asked if we could bless the children. Now, y'all know I'm a kid person, so praying for children is kind of my favorite. Being able to bless the two little boys and two little girls was an honor to me. A simple prayer may not seem like much, but it means a lot in the eyes of God when you consider that His ultimate plan is for us to be in relationship with Him. Conversation is an essential part of relationship. Since children are so close to His heart, a moment of prayer with them is a precious meeting with Him.

This really reminded me of Mississippi.

We also happened upon the beginnings of a new church building where several women were sitting and talking. We were able to pray with them about the new church. Another time, we walked past an elderly couple, and two of us felt the need to stop and encourage them, even though technically we were sent out to talk to younger people. We prayed for them and gave them kind words, and their faces were full of joy as we walked away. Although, because of their more reserved culture, this couple did not tell us specifics about their lives, we found out from our Mango Creek guide that they had recently lost a daughter. These are just a few of our stories. I feel honored that the Lord allowed me to walk into the lives of some of the people He loves, even for a moment.

This was my first mission trip, but I imagine that any time you go on a short-term mission, you encounter a few special people who impact you the most. Lisa and her children were those people for me.

We met her in the park across from our hotel the second night we were there. Lisa is a single mom with 12 kids, six of whom are young enough to be at home. I won't give all the details of her life, but suffice it to say that she is a single mom because of some common issues in impoverished places: violence and abuse. She is often ill but makes ends meet by baking and making candy that she sends her kids out on their bicycles to sell.

Three of Lisa's children

We met her daughters first: a thirteen-year-old and eleven-year-old on a bike who seemed shy but were still eager to talk with us. The youngest child, nearly 3 years old, was not shy at all. She laughed and went from lap to lap, arm to arm, as she babbled away in Creole. Right away I could tell that there was something special about these kids. They were well-mannered and gentle, with shy smiles and respectful nods. I was only more interested in their family when we met the two little boys, about nine and six, who were just as sweet as their sisters. During the conversation, the older girl said, "Do you want to meet our mom?" Another team member and I said, "Sure," not knowing we were stepping into a divine appointment.

Lisa was on the park bench with her oldest at-home child, a daughter who is sixteen. Unlike most of the other Belizeans we had met, Lisa opened up and told us her story, and we prayed for her. She may be facing issues and hopelessness, but I could tell that Lisa is the kind of woman who cares deeply for her children. We were able to pray with her and invite her to the conference.

She came to the conference with all her children three nights in a row. Unlike the other kids, her children listened attentively (and her baby made friends with everyone there). On the first night, I prayed for her headache during altar call, and it went away completely.

The second night, her older daughter told me that she loved writing. Her face lit up as she talked about crafting stories and journaling about her life. Because school requires tuition in Belize, this daughter was not able to go to high school because the money went to the other children's schooling. But since I'm a writer myself, I knew during that conversation that there was a reason for me to be on this trip. I went home, tore out the pages of my journal that I had already used, and brought it to her along with a pencil and pen the next night at the conference. I encouraged her to keep writing. She seemed a little surprised at my gift, but later on, I saw her writing during the conference, and even standing up writing afterwards. I am amazed that the Lord laid out that divine appointment not just for this teenager, but for me. I am so blessed to get to take a part, even a small part, in nurturing a gift that is so close to my own heart in another young person.

Because they attended this conference, Lisa's family was able to meet the special couple who puts it on. Through their ministry, they will be able to obtain some shoes and possibly other things for school; and the oldest daughter may have a chance to go to high school after all because the church offers scholarships.

You may think that building wells and churches and feeding the hungry and donating to good causes and doing altar calls is the glorified work of "missions." But don't forget that all missions begin with one simple conversation. Jesus walked through villages, too. He befriended people and invited them to just talk with Him. I'm not saying that we shouldn't intentionally do all those good works--of course we should! But in order to serve someone, you have to meet them. You have to disregard rejection and just open your mouth and say "yes" to God when He asks you to give time to relationship with someone else. It takes humility to realize that your time is His, anyway, and He is asking you to give it away.

The most beautiful thing about this is that it doesn't have to happen in a third-world country. And that leads me to my biggest point. I could go on and on in detail about my trip and everything we did, but I want to save space for this important take-away: Life is a mission field. That sounds cliche, but it really is the truth.

The Belizean people and their mindsets looked so much like the people of Oak Cliff (the neighborhood where I taught last year) and the people in my hometown of Jackson, Mississippi. The history of slavery, corruption, exploitation, and poverty is the same. And I thought, "Why am I leaving my own people to serve someone else, as if that is more noble?" I am definitely in favor of missions and am glad I went on this trip, but for me it brought my current location into better focus. I need to stop thinking "God is going to make me a long-term missionary someday" as an excuse not to love the people in front of me.

Maybe I'll never be a "long-term missionary" because maybe I already am one. Your whole life is pretty "long-term." He didn't say "Give me your future." He said "Give me your life." That's what "Take up your cross and follow me" means (Matthew 16:24).

I need to stop spending so much time glorifying "the ministry" and realize that His body IS "the ministry"--all the time, everywhere. There is no difference spiritually in feeding orphans in the bush country of Africa and feeding orphans in a public school in Arlington, Texas. Everyone wants the love of the Father.

I think the gospel is that people--all people--are worth it to God. They aren't there to be pitied or patronized. They are His beautiful workmanship, crafted specifically and purposefully (Psalm 139), and they deserve respect. The gospel is stopping for a moment to acknowledge the image of God in a human being, and speaking that over them that they might be encouraged to see their own value. Salvation happens when people realize just how valuable Jesus is, and how the Father traded this priceless treasure for their lives. That's how worth it we are.

For the creation waits with eager longing for the revelation of the sons of God. (Romans 8:19) People are waiting with desperate expectation for us to live into our roles in our everyday lives. That's the gospel, and the gospel takes all of us, regardless of location.

What I'm trying to say that it's easy to give a dollar to charity in the check-out line. It's a lot harder to genuinely invest and care about the cashier standing right in front of you.

Maybe, like me, you've been questioning if the "American life" is for you. Maybe you've been despising where God has you right now. Maybe you feel like you're in time out from "greater things." I know how that feels. That was me before this trip.

But maybe God has you right where He wants you. Maybe you were born in the right location at the right time. Maybe your job, your home, your church, your life, has just as much purpose as the life of a missionary in the most dangerous of places.

You know why? Because there are people there. And God loves them all.

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place (2 Corinthians 2:14).

    

Called by Name

Have you ever heard God's voice, and you know that you know that you KNOW that you heard Him?

I mean, there's times when you hear Him whisper or nudge, and you have to think about it a bit before acting. But then there's other times when it just hits you with so much clarity that you can't deny it. There's no shadow of uncertainty. There's only peace.

That's what Paul was talking about when he said "peace that passes understanding" (Philippians 4:7).

Recently, I stumbled upon a familiar story about Abraham. After he's waited decades for the birth of his long-anticipated son, Isaac, God asks Abraham to offer Isaac as a sacrifice, then stops him at the last minute. The biggest take-away of this story is that it is a type and shadow of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. However, I think this story might offer us a couple of checkpoints to know that God is speaking to us.

Read it with me from Genesis 22:

Now it came about after these things, that God tested Abraham, and said to him, "Abraham!" And he said, "Here I am."

Let's stop there.

Hearing God's voice, checkpoint #1: He FIRST calls you by name.

Keep in mind here that God was about to ask Abraham to sacrifice the very promised child that He Himself had given him. The miracle son. This was going to be a big, scary, confusing surprise to Abraham. He needed to be sure that the Lord was speaking to him.

So the Lord called him by the name that He had given him.

Note that God had promised Abraham that he would father nations long before He changed his name. I won't do a detailed exegesis of the whole book of Genesis (even though I kind of want to.... #nerd). Long story short, when God promised Abram he would father many nations (in chapter 15), God made the promise, and God gave Abram a sign to confirm it. It was more like an info session than a conversation. God had called Abram to be the father of nations, but his name hadn't been changed.

However, when Abram responded to God's faithfulness with action--circumcision--his name was changed by God to reflect his identity (chapter 17).  Abram showed God that he believed Him so much that he was willing to, you know, cut off a part of his own body to prove it. That's commitment.

The name "Abraham" signified God's faithfulness to him as well as Abraham's faithfulness to God. It was a relational name, one that God called him to mark their friendship. God was the first to call him by that name. It was special and set apart. So needless to say, Abraham recognized the voice of God when He called him.

When I think back on moments when I know that I know that I KNOW that God is speaking to me, they have something in common: God always calls my name first.

I don't mean that He appears to me, checks my birth certificate and driver's license, and states my full name. I mean that I feel called by name. This is something difficult to describe. This called-by-name feeling is the same as being lost in worship and knowing that you are the daughter or son of God. It's feeling the ultimate, all-consuming, irrefutable concentration of your identity in Christ, when nothing else matters but Him knowing you and you knowing Him.

Whenever the Lord is about to speak something important to me, He doesn't come as a burning bush or a scary angel or a booming voice. He comes as a Father who gently whispers into my spirit, "Hey, daughter...my beloved one...my own little girl."

If you're a man, He probably doesn't address you that way. But children know their father's voice among the voices of all other men. Sheep know the shepherd's voice (John 10:27). When you hear Him calling your name--the name He gave you--you know it's your Father speaking. In that moment, the connection you feel between you and Him is the pure connection that Jesus had in mind when He died on the cross to reconcile us to our Father. It's as loud and clear as the boy prophet Samuel heard the Lord for the first time calling in the night: "Samuel! Samuel!" (1 Samuel 3).

Notice that Abraham did not respond with, "Is that you, God? Are you sure?" He simply said, "Here I am."

I don't know if it feels the same for everyone, but I imagine you are probably thinking of several times in your life when you've heard the call and felt in your spirit, "Here I am." If you aren't a believer, you probably have felt bits of it and didn't know that it was Jesus.

Maybe you haven't heard Him speak because you don't recognize your name when He calls it. The world's labels, your own construction of your identity, get in the way. The solution to that is to read His Word and learn who He is, that you might learn what He calls you.

In short, you know when the Lord is speaking because you suddenly, strongly know who you are.

But back to the story of Abraham.

After God, called him by name, He continued speaking.

He said, "Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac [Abraham could make no mistake about which son God was talking about] and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you." So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. (vs. 1-3)

Wait....Abraham did not argue with God. He had just been told something confusing: that the son that God had promised him, whom he'd waited for for decades, was to be a sacrifice. How in the world was he to be the father of nations if he killed the child who was to inherit that legacy?

But Abraham didn't argue, because he knew that he knew that he KNEW that God had spoken. He just woke up the very next day and did what God said.

That's checkpoint #2 for hearing God's voice: It requires response.

I don't imagine that Abraham was too happy about the news that his beloved son was going to be slaughtered at his own hand. (He couldn't have dreamed that the Father Himself was going to do the same to His own Son so many years in the future.) God sometimes asks us to do confusing things. Things that derail our own plans. Things that shut down the joy rides of our imaginations.

But when we know we heard Him speak, we are compelled to do it, and not three weeks from now. We have to do it TODAY. Or tomorrow, in Abraham's case. We must do it as soon as we possibly can.

Just because something is confusing doesn't mean it's God, the same way that just because it's not confusing doesn't mean it isn't (bear with my linguistic fumbles here). But I will say that He does often ask us to do things that don't make sense to us, whether it's forgiving someone who hurt us horribly, or choosing a career path we said we'd never choose (ahem), or selling everything to become a missionary, or getting another degree, (ahem ahem), or moving to Texas (ahem ahem AHEM...for those of you who know me).  Or it could be that He is just asking you to do something you know is right but don't want to do, like surrendering an area of your life that you don't want to give up.

God's voice demands obedience. Not because He is a king who desires groveling slaves. (If He'd wanted that, He would have just programmed all of us to follow Jesus without question.) God loves that we get a choice. He delights in allowing us to choose Him. And when He speaks, He demands obedience because obedience is not an act of fear but an act of trust. A child may not understand the directions given by a father, but he does know that obedience will lead to his good in some way, whether he understands it now or not, because he knows that his father has his best interest at heart.

It's when we're children thinking we know more than we do that we get in trouble.

When He comes to you calling your name, get ready to be uncomfortable. Because He loves us, He will never let us stay in a season for too long. That's why, when He speaks suddenly with direct instructions, we must respond. Even if our response is to disobey Him, we have still made a choice. Just like His words to Abraham, those moments of clear direction from God leave no room for misinterpretation. A good Father may give directions we don't understand from our current context, but He will never be confusing about what He expects us to do.

If you're now saying, "I don't think I've ever heard Him that clearly," I want to challenge you to look back on your life and ask yourself if maybe you weren't listening. Or avoiding asking the right questions (and I'm guilty as charged). He is always speaking. He wants the perfect plan for your life more than you do. It just may not look how you think.

It's true that there are times of silence, when we feel that we are not hearing from Him, and we must wait patiently. But prepare for that day when suddenly, clearly, He calls your name. Immediately listen, and respond in obedience. Obedience is the next step to your destiny...no matter how small, weird, or unexpected the instructions may be.

And your destiny is to look more and more like the person He knows by name, the person you were created to be: in deep relationship with Him.

My Good

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."--Romans 8:28

Every good Christian knows that verse. You probably even memorized it in Sunday school when you were a kid. It's comforting to know that all things work together for our good. "All" means everything, even the bad stuff.

But what is the "good" that the all is working together for?

Kids at VBS (and even some of us adults in the Western world) probably think that "good" is a new house, a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, great job, fancy watch, football on the weekends--you know, the American Dream. We paste this verse all over our t-shirts and wall art like a good luck charm, reminding ourselves that even if we didn't get that promotion, or even if our significant other breaks it off, surely our life goals will come to pass because God is on our side.

I'm not here to say that God is against our dreams or life goals. But I think the "good" in this verse has nothing to do with material blessings or our own goals achieved. It has to do with what Jesus died for on the cross. And, surprise surprise, that wasn't a two-car garage or a Tiffany engagement ring (sorry, ladies). It has to do with complete restoration of relationship with the Father.

Let's let scripture interpret scripture:

"My flesh and my heart may fail, 
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works."
--Psalm 73:26-28

The measure of how "good" your quality of life is not the size of your bank account or how many cupholders your car has. Your "good" is directly related to how near you are to the Father. 

Paul had been sent to prison, beaten, shipwrecked, dragged before courts, ridiculed, and hated. When he said "all things," he wasn't talking about getting broken up with or missing his vacation flight or somebody gossiping about him at work. He was talking about solitary confinement in a tiny cell with rats and open sores and no food and the threat of execution. How could someone say that those things worked together for his good?

Because his "good" wasn't his circumstances. His "good" was knowing the Father's heart. And I bet he learned a whole lot about the Father's heart in those dangerous, scary, unpredictable situations.

I'm not saying that God gives us "bad things" in our lives just to test us. I think bad things happen because we live in a fallen world. But I think the great redemption of the cross is that God takes what the enemy intended to destroy us and turns it around 180 degrees to bless us, if we are willing to see that He wants to use every circumstance in our lives to draw us close. 

We were created to be in God's family. The greatest good we can experience is to be near to Him, loving Him, becoming like Him. That's what we were made for. That's the end He has in mind. And if we are in Christ, He does everything in His power (and that's a lot of power, like the kind that generates galaxies) to turn everything that happens, positive or negative, small or big, into something that gets us right up under His wing. 

I can guarantee you that God has bigger plans for your life than you do. And His plans involve you becoming the image of His Son. Looking like Jesus means being close to the Father. 

Read the rest of Romans 8: 

For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and those whom He predestined, He also called; and those whom He called, He also justified; and those whom He justified, He also glorified. 
     What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?.....But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The extent and finality of Jesus' victory is astounding. NOTHING can work against you. There is no situation that He can't redeem. His blood is the trump card. It destroys the enemy at every turn.

His mercy is just that great: that when we feel hopeless in our circumstances, He's working it for our nearness to Him. And, just like a good good father, He knows that no enemy can come near us when we are in His arms. And THAT'S good.

Beauty

God is our refuge and strength, 
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
   though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam, 
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.
--Psalm 46:1-3

When I read that this morning, I started to picture what it literally says: epic landslides and tsunamis and the earth imploding. This Psalm is about holding on to God in the midst of chaos. If our earth suffered unexpected catastrophe, and even the natural world--mountains, seas, etc.--fell apart, we would have nothing to make sense of our lives except for God. He is our only calibration. And then the Psalm tells us that, in that event, we actually would not have to fear because He is bigger than the biggest disaster we can imagine.

I was like, "Ok, gotcha. God is big. We literally have NOTHING to fear." That alone was impressive and reassuring to me as I sat pondering. Then I felt the Holy Spirit prompt me: "Who do you think made the mountains and the sea?"

The natural world is the manifestation of the imagination of our God. YOU are the manifestation of the imagination of our God. He is a creator.  I mean, He speaks, and galaxies happen. He thought of DNA. He built you from scratch. He can't help but create. It's His nature.

Psalm 46 continues: "He raised his voice, the earth melted." His words are able to create or destroy. But He has to consciously decide to destroy. His default setting is "create" and "unimaginable beauty." All His ways are perfect. He makes things alive and colorful just by going near them. Think on that for a second.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.--Ecclesiastes 3:11

This verse is clear: we cannot understand the intricate plans of God. But we are built to seek after His heart and long for His beauty.

God is the definition of "beautiful." Unless He chooses to destroy, He cannot touch something and NOT make it beautiful.

If you let Him touch you, if you let Him come even a little bit near you, you will not be able to help being restored to life and beauty.  He is the essence of beauty; He is a creator; and He created YOU.

How could you not be beautiful?

"Cease striving and know that I am God"--Psalm 46:10

That one is pretty self-explanatory.

The One Thing That Will Change Your Life

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.--Matthew 6:33

I want to ask you, if you're a Christian: what is the kingdom of God?

It seems like, if Jesus told us Himself that seeking it was the most important aim of our lives, we ought to know what it is. But I bet most Christians have never even considered how God defines His kingdom. And we're going to have a hard time finding it if we don't know what we're looking for.

This whole time, I've thought that the kingdom of God was getting people to accept Jesus and have their lives radically altered by Him. Not to mention peace and joy and hippie Christian commune in the Holy Spirit. Casting out demons. Seeing the blind receive sight and the lame walk. In short, heaven on earth.

But the most important thing in the kingdom of God, I have thought, is for us to know our identity in Christ. If we know we are sons and daughters of the King, of course heaven will naturally come to earth. It all has to do with how much we understand our own identities!!!..............Right?

So I've sought and sought to find out who I am in Christ. I've made it my one true aim. I opened the scriptures every day to find out what He says I am.

And I've been frustrated.

Let me tell you why. The Bible is addressed to me and talks about me, but I (and you) are really only minor characters. Reading the Bible to find out your identity in Christ is like reading backwards. There is only one true star of the whole script.

It's kind of a "duh" moment, but I just realized that the Bible isn't about me. It's about God.

In our culture, we are constantly instructed to "find ourselves." I spent years looking everywhere for myself. I finally ended up a Christian because I understood that God was the only source of my identity. But I've gone about this Christian life with the wrong aim. I've been looking for me instead of Him.

I've heard message after message about "hearing God," my "identity in Christ," "prosperity," "grace," "God's will for your life." These messages aren't bad; but if they're all I'm hearing, I have a problem. All of these topics are about ME. We listen, and we take our new little "nugget"of "revelation" home and try to apply it to our lives. We live from revelation to revelation. Snack to snack. And we are hungry and frustrated. And I can tell you with absolute certainty that I am way more boring and less satisfying than He is.

What if my one singular purpose in life, what He created me to do, is not to find out who I am, but to find out who He is?

David wrote, "You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever" (Psalm 16:11).

He does tell us what path to take. But that's not the point of this verse. I think the kingdom of God is this simple: fullness of joy in His presence. Knowing HIM. Who cares about us and our identities? I only want to care about HIS identity.

I mean, He made the whole world just by speaking. Don't you want to get to know someone like that?

I don't know about you, but I want to know the same kind of intimacy with the Father that drove Jesus to the cross. He didn't give up His life for an ideal, for His country, or even really for us. He gave it willingly because His Father asked Him to.

What kind of goodness must the Father possess if people, including Jesus, are willing to die for Him? They must really know who He is. No one will die for a tyrant. But for someone they love, they will sacrifice their lives.

What if we knew the Father so well that we would do anything for Him?

When I read the Old Testament, I see that time after time, the Israelites forsook the God of Abraham and went after idols. And all the way from Genesis to Malachi, the Lord repeats the same complaints: "They don't know me." He is angry with their blatant sin, but He always points out that the reason they are sinning is because they don't know Him.

The Israelites didn't continually turn from God and serve the Baals, sacrificing babies and committing adultery with temple prostitutes, because they didn't understand who THEY were. It was because they didn't understand who HE is. They did not understand His righteousness.

Oh, wait--didn't we hear something about righteousness in that verse about the kingdom of God?

"Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness."

If we don't know what the kingdom of God is, maybe we should just look a few words over. The kingdom of God is HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS. In other words, His character. Who he is. His identity.

You will never perform a miracle because you know who you are. You will perform a miracle because you know who He is. 

I've tried a thousand times to approach a sick person to pray for them by pep-talking myself about my authority and identity in the kingdom of God. But I haven't tried to approach them with the simple thought that He is the God who created light, ocean tides, mitochondria, and seahorses....Like, "awesome" doesn't begin to cover it.

I've spent so much time asking God, "Who am I?" Maybe He'd appreciate it just a little bit if I started waking up every morning and asking Him, "Who are you?"

My pride and selfishness will only leave me frustrated. A humble heart toward the Lord will ignite me to my true purpose.

I don't mean to step on any toes (and I'm preaching to myself, too), but you aren't going to get to know Him that well just by sitting on your butt. You will only get to know Him as He is by spending time with Him and asking Him.

"But I don't hear clearly from God," you might say. Well, can you read? Obviously, because you're reading this. Read the Bible as if all you are looking for is what it says about HIM.

I have a right to say this to you, because I'm just now realizing it myself. Our culture has jipped us. And the church is missing it just as much as secular culture. Church is not about us. It's about Him. Anytime we reduce it to anything less than that, it's a frustrating experience. It may draw people in briefly, but it will ultimately drive them away, dissatisfied.

Do you know why? Because the only satisfaction we can find in life is in God. That's it. There's nothing else. We can't find purpose even in our identity as believers. Yes, it's good to know our identity, and good to embrace it. But identity is a by-product of knowing Him. Our identity is not our purpose. Knowing His identity is.

When I had this gentle revelation, I felt like I felt the day that I first really decided to follow Jesus. I felt a sense of overwhelming relief, and a feeling that everything is going to change for good.

We don't need self-help books and personality tests and themed Bible studies. These are not bad things. But they aren't what we NEED. They are the things that are "added unto us." But the thing about adding is that you need a foundation to add to. The fact is that, if you don't understand that knowing Him--His heart, His righteousness, His goodness, His beauty--is the most important thing, even your greatest revelations about your identity in Christ are like Legos on quicksand. 

What if the whole church stopped straining to make ourselves into "who we're supposed to be" and just started seeking His face? What if we stopped continuously seeking to preach and buy and read our "identity in Christ" and just spent every day asking Him about His identity?

I tell you what would happen. We wouldn't have to search out our identity in Christ. We would just become it. And we would change the world.

It's Personal

Recently, I had a dream about being sucked up in a tornado. At first, I was terrified of not being able to breathe because I’ve heard that the air pressure in a tornado sucks out your breath. (Although it would seem that there would be bigger problems if you were flying around in a twister.) After a minute, though, I discovered that I could still breathe, although I could not see and had no idea what was happening. I felt a sense of peace in my dream because I just knew that God was there.

I know that’s a wacky dream, but I think that following Jesus is kind of like that: flying around in a tornado, unharmed and able to breathe.

I’ve long believed that life isn’t worth living unless you’re doing something that scares you a little bit. I’m not talking about being an aimless, thrill-seeking adrenaline addict; I’m talking about living into your full potential in Christ. Life with Him is just plain exciting….that is, if you trust Him.

The Bible speaks about Abraham, the ultimate faith warrior, in this way:

He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. That is why his faith was “counted to him as righteousness.”—Romans 4:19-22

It’s a common misconception that “faith” means manufacturing a feeling in yourself to produce some kind of result. “Believe for your healing!” people say. “Have faith for your miracle!” For one thing, that mentality makes it seem like faith is all you. But my Bible says that faith is a fruit of the Spirit—which means it comes from Holy Spirit, not from you.  

But more important, thinking of faith in this context leads us into the mindset that faith is only belief in what God can do.  However, the true definition of faith can be found in the above description of Abraham: “No distrust made him waver.” Faith is not about objectively believing in God’s sovereignty or power. It’s wholeheartedly, sincerely trusting in WHO HE IS—even to the point of giving up all else to seek His heart. It’s being in a tornado: completely unable to see the path clearly, but holding on to who He is.

Now that’s personal.

A lot of people talk big about being a Christian, but in their hearts, they feel constantly afraid. You can agree with the Word of God and all His promises as much as you want to, but if you don’t really know Him, you’re not going to believe that He is who He says He is.  The result is that the tornado is coming for you—and you’re terrified of suffocating.

I’m not saying this to be condemning, because I think most people in America are used to drive-thru church, a vending machine relationship with God. In fact, riding on the highway just now, I saw a sign that advertised “free wi-fi and mini-fridge” at a nearby hotel…you know, so you don’t have to actually talk to or interact with anybody. I think many Christians are simply afraid to get personal with the Lord (or anybody else, for that matter).

Belief is objective. Trust is personal.

The opposite of faith is not scoffing unbelief. It’s more sneaky than that. The opposite of faith is fear that comes from deep-rooted distrust of God.

Distrust can come from a variety of sources. The enemy is endlessly creative in his ability to inspire suspicion, resentment, and bitterness toward God. It may be consistent failure in your life. It may be that people you trusted deeply let you down. It may be bad things that happened to you, which can turn into an opportunity for the devil to whisper in your ear, “God doesn’t really love you. He’s not going to be there for you.” Distrust of God is often disguised as lack of confidence in yourself, but that is only distrust of who God says you are because you don’t trust who HE is. Real faith is simply believing that God is not a liar.

Satan’s very first lie was a planned attack against Eve’s trust in what God had told her (Genesis 3). She replaced God’s word with Satan’s, and the result was disastrous. 

The devil doesn’t often get Christians to believe lies based on logic (although he does disguise them that way). He gets personal. He goes straight to the heart and attacks your relationship with God. He doesn’t care how religious you are, how many rituals you keep, how many works you do, if he can only keep you shrinking away from the presence of God, because that’s where real change happens and where we reach our true tornado-riding potential in the Spirit.

Surely, signs and wonders inspire and build faith. But real faith is responding to your life in the way of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up” (Daniel 3:16-18).  

That’s personal. They refused to serve other gods. I hate to tell you, but fear is an idol. These three young men knew God well enough that their conviction was more powerful than the idol of fear. They knew that God’s plan was best, because they knew that God was good. They trusted Him.

Turn around and tell the devil, “We have no need to answer you in this matter.” THAT is FAITH.

Trust is something I’ve been learning a lot about over the past few months. I’ve been coming to believe Him when He says, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33).  

For my whole life up to this point, my prayer routine has consisted primarily of me telling God everything I needed for Him to do. I’d go through every minute of the upcoming day, asking Him to do this or that for me. I believed big enough that He heard my prayers and that He would do it; but I did not believe enough to trust that He was good and could do it on His own, even if it didn’t look like what I wanted.

This prayer list looked like great trust because I was “submitting” every detail to Him. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing in general. Passionate intercession has its place. But there’s a fine line between intercession and control in your personal prayer life. I felt like I had to tell God what I needed or wanted in every situation because I thought that He would forget about me if I didn’t. I thought that my expectations and vision were correct; therefore, I needed to tell God exactly what to do, rather than walking blindly into what He already had planned. If I trusted Him, He might do something I didn’t want.

But when you know His heart, you honestly, genuinely want what He wants, because you know how much He loves you and how irreversible and unconditional His love is.

A week or two ago, I woke up and felt like I heard Him say, “Today is the day. “ I thought, “The day for what?” In my prayer time, I felt nudged to just stop praying for every detail and just say, “Whatever you want, Lord, I will accept.” I was able to say that because, for the first time in my life, I believed so much in God’s love for me that I knew that whatever He had planned was for my good.

It’s a basic concept, but it’s so hard to grasp.

That very day, I received a phone call from the school where I’ve wanted to work for two years, offering me an interview. I got the job and will sign the paperwork today. Yes, ask for what you want from God—and then stop asking. Trust that He has it taken care of, or that He has something even better for you.

It takes tremendous faith to pray big. It takes bigger faith to set aside time just for looking into His face and asking Him nothing. The greatest faith is believing that He is all you need, and that His heart toward you is good.

Trust means throwing away everything to go after God’s own heart. The adventure is just a side effect.