Earlier this week, I got stuck in traffic. I know, shocking in DC, right? But this wasn't normal traffic. It was the dead-stop kind, the kind that makes people lose their minds and honk at the drivers in front of them, even though they can't go anywhere. It took me about 30 minutes to even get onto the interstate, and then much more time to get home. Do you know what it feels like to literally go 5 miles an hour? Because I do.
It wasn't more frustrating than I could handle, and surprisingly, I didn't have such a bad attitude about it (thanks to God). But I kept thinking I would eventually see an accident, or a closed lane, or something that would explain the traffic. I didn't. It was completely unexplained. I still don't know why it was moving (or not moving) that way.
As I was sitting there debating whether or not to try a different route (and probably get lost), I was also thinking about how my life has felt just like this in the past week or so--like I am sitting here spinning my wheels, unable to see the reasons why I am going nowhere. I am frustrated both at work and in my personal life. I feel like I have worked so hard, and there is still so much I want to do. I am starting to falter.
This feeling is what they call "discouragement." It is the reason Paul and the other New Testament writers were always writing to the churches to encourage one another, to take courage, to endure and be steadfast. When you begin to look at things from a human perspective, well...it's pretty discouraging.
Before I launch into a pathetic country song about my feelings, I would like to clarify that, for the most part, I am discouraged because I allow myself to be discouraged. Just like Jonah sitting under the shriveled tree at the end of his book, I am pleased to be angry, to make my life about me and what I can or can't see.
But I am not who my life is about.
Let's take a dive into scripture. (Come on, you knew it was coming.)
In Luke 24, we read about the risen Jesus approaching His disciples on the road to Emmaus. By the way, the angel that met the women at the empty tomb had told them to tell the disciples to meet Jesus in Galilee (Mark 16:7). But instead of following these directions, they were wandering around in the country outside Jerusalem, probably unsure where they were going. Like the disciples, we all find ourselves depressed and wandering about without direction, because the circumstances of our earthly lives weigh us down, and we simply don't trust the directions He's given us.
Isn't it great how Jesus descends and meets us where we are: lost?
As Jesus talked to His disciples on the road (they didn't recognize Him, by the way), they told Him that they disbelieved the women's testimony about His resurrection. Jesus said, "O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!" (Luke 24: 25).
Slow of heart. I don't know about you, but I am much more often slow of heart than slow of mind (although that happens a lot, too). Especially when it comes to believing what the prophets have spoken:
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
to grant to those who mourn in Zion--
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.
--Isaiah 61:1-3
That's a lot of promises right there. But too often, I am slow of heart, and I leave my garment of praise in the closet, next to the rain coat that doesn't get used very much. That's because the garment of praise belongs to the Lord, and the faint heart belongs to me. And, if I want to make my life about me, it's obvious which one I should put on.
Note the last phrase of the last verse of this passage from the prophet Isaiah: that he may be glorified. I want my life to glorify the Lord. And it is my belief that, if I am following Jesus, He will glorify Himself in me, and there's not really much I can do to stop it. But I can definitely dishonor Him with my words and my attitude, especially when I know full well what He's given me.
Discouragement has to do with not knowing the ending, with not being able to see the good that is to come--or knowing about it, but losing sight of it because of circumstances. Discouragement means turning your eyes to look around you rather than at the One who has guaranteed His good intentions toward you. It has to do with walking by sight and not by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7).
Discouragement is normal, especially around this time of year, when it's cold and it seems like we're working a lot without seeing much fruit. I don't think God is surprised when we are discouraged. I don't think He is surprised even when we are discouraged on purpose, in spite of knowing His promises to us. In times of discouragement, He appears to us like He appeared to His disciples after they had seen Him on the road to Emmaus and were still full of doubt: "Peace to you!" He says (Luke 24:36). Of course, the disciples were still quite upset--I mean, this man they thought was dead had just materialized in the living room. This was not what they had expected. So Jesus continued: "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself" (Luke 24:38).
When we are discouraged, He comes to us with that rhetorical question, asked in such a gentle voice: "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts?" And He says to us, "Remember who I am. Remember when I brought you through that trial, and when you saw me work miracles. Remember. Don't falter. Don't be faint of heart."
"See my hands and feet, that it is I myself." Jesus invites us to see not our circumstances, but to see Him.
I don't know what I want to say in this post except that, if you are discouraged, know that God isn't surprised. Look to the reality of the promises of Jesus. He's there, and He's waiting to walk through the wall and say, "Peace to you!"
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