Come

But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid." And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God" (Matthew 14:26-33).

Walking on water is really cool. Who wouldn't want to do it? Apparently the 11 disciples who stayed in the boat, that's who. But for the one who did step out, the aim wasn't to do something cool. According to Peter's own words, his aim was to come to Jesus.

This week, I've been feeling very frustrated. I moved to Texas to "become a teacher," surely...but that's just my cover story. I really came here to do ministry. My ultimate dream is to get to participate in the great and wonderful and fantastic moves of God going on, both here and around the world.

Yet I feel like there have been a lot of closed doors in my life lately as far as service is concerned. Almost every time I want to serve somewhere, there is a reason outside of my control that prevents me from getting involved. I know that I'm getting impatient, and that He has bigger dreams for me than what I'm trying to do. I know I should stop striving and settle into His plan, regardless of what that looks like. I know I should be glad that doors are closing in favor of a door that He is going to open. He and I have had some candid conversations about that over the past few weeks.

It was during one of these candid conversations that He reminded me of Peter. The story about Peter walking on water is the one I most connect with in the whole Bible, and the story I always return to. Man, I get Peter. He was ready to jump out of the boat, to declare Jesus the Christ, to cut off somebody's ear in defense of his friend. But at the same time, he was paralyzed with fear at several points along his journey. He hit rough patches of doubt, to say the least, and could quickly go careening in the opposite direction. Call it spiritual hydroplaning.

Which is exactly what he did when he walked on water. But as I was pondering this story in prayer, the Holy Spirit drew me back to Peter's original thought. When he saw Jesus walking on water, he didn't think, "Wow, I want to do a miracle like that." He thought, "I am so glad to see Jesus! Jesus, please let me come to you!"

I may be adding to the Bible here, since I am not in Peter's brain and don't know exactly what he thought; but I do know this is the same Peter who, when Jesus called him, immediately dropped his net and followed him (Mark 1:18). I know this is the same Peter who, when he first saw Jesus after the resurrection, jumped out of his fishing boat to swim to Him (John 21:7). At the time of the walking on water incident, Jesus had been in a solitary place by Himself, praying, distressed over the traumatic execution of His cousin John. The disciples didn't know where He was or when they would see Him again.

I've always thought that Peter stepped out of the boat because he wanted to do something cool, just like Jesus. But I'm beginning to see it differently. If I know Peter, when he saw Jesus, he wasn't thinking much at all. He was just thinking, "IT'S JESUS!!"

He only began to sink when he started looking around him, thinking, "Oh, dang, look at this huge miracle I am doing!"

This morning, I was reading John 14. This is the chapter of Holy Spirit fame, the one in which Jesus promises the Helper and that those who follow Him will do greater works than He. Jesus says all of these things right after He tells Peter that "the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times" (13:38).

Talk about some bad news and harsh delivery. Yet Jesus' next sentence is this: "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me" (14:1).

Peter was probably like, "Seriously??? How can I not be troubled?"

Knowing his thoughts, Jesus continued, "In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going" (14:2-4).

Thomas, always the practical one, replied, "Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?"

I mean, come on, right? How can we write directions for a destination that is unknown? Even Siri knows that's impossible.

Heaven isn't an address we can just type into our GPS. Similarly, the Father's heart, the Father's love, was not something the disciples could conceptualize, much less find their way into on their own.

He is not someone any of us understand here on earth. How do we get to someone if we don't even know who He is? The disciples were familiar with the miracles, with the works. It was the Father they were unsure about, in spite of the tremendous acts of mercy that Jesus had done in obedience to Him.

People with a call to ministry, this is especially for you.

We are all familiar with Jesus' response to Thomas: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him" (14:6-7).

The works were never the objective. The Father is. And there is only one way to get to Him.

The ultimate destination on our journey isn't some big ministry, some huge revival, some plan for prosperity, some newsworthy manifestation of miracles. Surely, these things will come--it's His will that they do...you know, "on earth as it is in heaven"? But Jesus was very clear about our destination. He knew exactly where He was going, and where He was leading us: straight to the heart of His Father.

I think sometimes we get focused on "our ministries" and forget that walking on water is just a side effect of running to the Father through Jesus.

I know firsthand just how hard it is to keep that focus. I know that we can so, so, SO easily become entangled in ministry pursuits and forget the One who called us into ministry in the first place. The world is full of distractions--even good ones. That's why it's important, essential, to DAILY pursue His heart. This doesn't necessarily mean lying on your face in worship 24 hours a day (although if God has called you to that, more power to you!). Instead, it involves something that may be even harder: daily relinquishing the dreams He has placed in your heart into His control. It involves surrendering your will to His every morning your feet hit the floor. And it involves relentlessly deciding to value your relationship with Him above every other thing. This is a practical way of living, and this is how we practice our faith.

Remember the old song? On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand....or sinking water, in some cases.

I'm not saying we shouldn't "do" anything in ministry. In fact, I'm saying just the opposite: that we will never be able to do anything if we don't keep our eyes on Jesus. Our focus shouldn't be the steadiness of our feet, the barometric pressure, the wind speed, or even the amazing awesomeness of the miracle that we are participating in right that moment. If that's my focus, I will sink. In fact, I'll never step out of the boat. Our focus should always, forever, and only be the heart of the Father as we find it through Jesus Christ.

When we are seeking the heart of the Father, through our constant journey toward His Son, we will walk out on the water, because that's where He is.

Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food (Isaiah 55:1-2).

I am the bread of life (John 6:48).