I haven't written in more than a month! But I forgive myself because I have been writing....assignments, lesson plans, emails, flashcards, etc. etc. etc. The first month of teaching has been a blur of up-and-down feelings and constant motion.
But it has also been a time of God working in my life. Naturally--He is always up to something, and He uses every ounce of what you experience in the natural to weave a tapestry of His purpose in your heart. He doesn't waste a drop.
Stressed at the enormity of the task of teaching first grade, I was reading Ephesians this morning. Ephesians is my go-to book for realigning my perspective and purpose.
Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.--Ephesians 6:14-15
I could go on and on about the various parts of the whole armor of God, but I want to concentrate on the shoes. Think about your morning routine. Probably the last thing you put on is shoes. You put them on right before you step out the door. They are the last part of the armor, the part that signals, "Ok, now I'm ready to go." They represent, as the verse above tells us, readiness.
But the Bible doesn't say that they are shoes to "kick the devil's face in," "trip the enemy," or "run and chase them down, shank 'em in the kidney, and stomp on their heads." (Which, to be totally honest, is more my style.)
According to this verse, the shoes that make you ready are made of peace.
What an odd word in the midst of a passage about armor and warfare.
Furthermore, these shoes are not for making you run but for making you stand--a strange thing to do when the enemy is coming at you. It would seem far more logical to either charge back at them or run away.
I think I've been running a lot lately--either toward my perceived problems or away from them. Running is an action. It is born from the belief that it is up to me to "do something." When I'm faced with an impossible task, I avoid it like the plague, or I charge into it full-force. Like, if there were a physical representation of the fight, it would look like me running full-speed into a brick wall and pushing with all my might, OR running in terror in the opposite direction. If you know me, you know that the running-into-a-brick-wall with stubborn "I can do this!!!" resolve is my most common go-to response; but both reactions look like ME doing something to preserve MYSELF, conquering in my own strength or retreating. The problem with me making those choices is that, either way, I'm going to collapse in exhaustion eventually and then be so stressed out that I can't even sleep.
This may or may not be a cycle in my current lifestyle.
I've heard people say, "God will never give you more than you can bear." Frankly, I think that's total BS (excuse my letter-cursing). He will most definitely give you more than you can bear, because He never intended for you to bear it in the first place. He has intended all along for you to stand in those ready shoes of peace while He fights the battle. If you think you have even one ounce of strength to do something for Him, then you're just lying to yourself. What He's called us to do is so much bigger than people can do.
Ironically, yes, we do have to make a choice to participate, and we do work harder for Him than we would for an earthly master. But when grace is flowing through the whole thing, it doesn't feel that way.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.--Matthew 11:28-30
If you're anxious, it's because you think you're the one responsible for getting the job done. You're taking out your little sword and running at your tasks with all your might. And that's a dangerous place to be. I know, because I am speaking from that place. That place will break you. The yoke of the world is too heavy.
If your shoulders feel burdened today, like things are piling on and piling on without stopping, then you need to take a look at your feet. You're probably barefoot.
You need to put on the readiness of the gospel of peace. This peace isn't some kitschy word-decal for your wall, or an ambiguous term we use to sing Christmas songs. Joe's Crab Shack doesn't have a copyright on it. This peace belongs to one person: Jesus Christ. And if you are found in Him, you have this peace at the ready.
This peace is knowing that your future is sealed up and that you belong to the Creator of the universe (Romans 1:6, 2 Corinthians 1:22). It's the peace of knowing that nothing can go wrong for you, no matter what (Romans 8:28). It's peace that comes from the undeniable love of a Father that anesthetizes and obliterates fear (1 John 4:16-18). It's the peace of eternity. It's not escapism; in fact, it's tapping into divine reality, which supersedes anything you experience in the world.
If you have your whole armor on but no shoes, you might as well go home. You can't leave your feet--the part of your body designed for standing--unprotected in the heat of the battle.
So if you're running today with no shoes, give your torn and bleeding feet a rest. Cut some time away from your duties and get into the warm, inviting foot bath of the Word of God. Don't condemn yourself for not being able to "cut it," because your flesh feet were never meant to stand against the spiritual forces of darkness. You weren't designed to beat your body against a brick wall...or a mountain, if you will. (Trust me, my bruised-up body knows.)
Frankly, your opinion of yourself doesn't really matter, so you might as well not even waste your time thinking about your inadequacies or measuring your abilities. It bears no relevance whether you think you're enough, because He is enough.
And knowing that is a treasure that no one on earth can give you.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.--Philippians 4:7
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